Overcoming Self-Sabotage

Overcoming self-sabotage is one of the most exciting conversations you will ever have, because on the other side of it is the emotional freedom and depth of joy that you were born to have. And the process of breaking through denial, facing your fear, anger, and other difficult emotions, and making peace with your pain is going to lead - step by step - to an ending of the internal war with yourself so that you can step fully into the greatest expression of yourself. So let's begin... 

Do you make a little progress toward your goals and objectives, only to backslide again into old, non-serving behaviours Are you perplexed by how frequently you get off track and wonder, out of sheer exasperation, why? If you are not moving steadily in the direction of what you say you want, you can be certain that you are sabotaging yourself somewhere. 

Whatever form it takes – whether unhealthy behaviours or limiting thought patterns – self-sabotage always diminishes the passion and energy we need to fulfil our dreams. Self-sabotage is the outer manifestation of our inner feelings of shame, anger and unworthiness. At the heart of the matter, we only create as much love, fulfilment success and joy as we feel worthy of having. 

To make radical progress toward that which you want, it is essential to identify how your inner saboteur is operating in your life. Choose one area where you can see that you’re sabotaging yourself. Perhaps it’s your finances, or maybe it’s in the area of your health or relationships. Ask yourself, “What do I get out of not thriving in this area?” (We are always getting something out of it). Propelled by negative beliefs about yourself, you may discover that you don’t expect to succeed in this area. So ultimately, you get to be right about yourself! And most of us will do anything to prove that we are right—even if it means robbing ourselves of our dreams. 

However, today can be a demarcation. How will you begin to stop self-sabotage in its tracks? The action steps below will give you a starting point. 

Take Action Now! 

Make a list of five specific things you are doing to sabotage yourself. 

Allow yourself to be ruthlessly honest. As you do this exercise, keep in mind that to have the best year of your life you will have to do the opposite of what you have been doing. This self-observation will guide you to then identify the five things you can do to counter the behaviour patterns that undermine your success. For example, if you find yourself wanting cake in the afternoon, counter it by having an apple first. Do you routinely spend more than you save? You can counter this habit by putting five percent of what you earn in a savings account each week. Finally, as you make a list of these five new action steps, practices or tasks, choose one that you can accomplish today. And then do it with great love. 

Emotional Support Tip 

As you begin this healing and transformational journey, I invite you to bring great patience and compassion to yourself – knowing that it’s perfectly natural to have seemingly disparate emotions such as doubt, sadness, excitement, and hope arise simultaneously. Now is the time to practice a new level of kindness and love toward yourself. 

Pat Savage